Dear United States,

Just a reminder of some people in recent history whose deaths we did not celebrate or probably will not celebrate:

Mao Tse Tsung
Fidel Castro
Josef Stalin
Nikita Kruschev
Saddam Hussein
Ho Chi Minh
Kim Jong Il
The Taliban
Emperor Hirohito (You know, the guy that ordered the attack on Pearl Harbor?)
Adolf Hitler

How about some people closer to home that have murdered Americans, and not just their own people?

Timothy McVeigh
Ted Kaczynski
Ted Bundy
Senator Joseph McCarthy
Julius & Ethel Rosenberg
Charles Manson
Gary Ridgeway (The Green River Killer - at victim 48 and counting)
George Silverman (American CIA Operative that fed military info to Russia during the Cold War)
Lee Harvey Oswald
Jeffrey Dahmer

Just something to think about while you jump up and down and celebrate the death of one man.

Sincerely Yours,

Melissa

Dear Dog,

Please. Stop eating the cat. No, really. That noise he's making? It's not a "I'm happy and want to play with you" noise, that's a "OMG THE PAIN STOP EATING MY LEG OMG I'M DYING" noise. I know the other cat makes noises like that when he plays with you, but he's a "Special" cat, and Monty... well... Monty is handicapped. And not mentally like Gus is. Now leave the poor thing alone to wallow in his pirate-y, one-eyed, losing hair, delicate flowerness, mkay?

Sincerely Yours,

Melissa

Dear Internet (part 2),

I am sorry. I am so ADD that I forgot about you again for a brief  moment in time. There were many other shinies to distract my attention from you. Starcraft II, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm, Final Fantasy XII, Assassin's Creed... Just to name a few. You can sit securely, however. I will always come back to you in the end. Know that I will never abandon you for Farmville or chocolate.

Though I might abandon you for Maple Sugar Candy. If I was bribed with enough of it. Maybe.

Sincerely Yours,

Melissa

Dear Music,

What happened to the days when you could be ugly as sin and still have a record deal? Or the days when you could sing like shit and still make millions of dollars and become a rock legend because you were talented with words and notes? What happened to our poets? Where did the Bob Dylan's, the Mick Jagger's, the Jim Croce's, the Joe Cocker's go? Not that those new singers out there aren't talented. I love the fact that any joe-schmoe off the street can walk into an American Idol audition and if they have any talent at all will be able to make an effort toward their dream - what I hate is that they're so bias toward 'pretty' people. Do you think Kelly Clarkson would have won if she had a huge Roman nose? Would Carrie Underwood have won if she had a gravelly Marianne Faithfull voice?

I feel the same way about movie actors too. Theatre actors on the other hand can be ugly as sin and as long as they can act, they can play any part they want to.

Anyway, the original point - Music, stop being so shallow. Go back to the days when music had meaning. Lyrics had to be listened to. Guitar solos and drum solos and showing off the fact that there was a band behind the lead singer who was just as talented (if not moreso).

And on the flip side of that, America - grow up.

Sincerely yours,

Melissa

Dear Snow,

I have been having a very horrible day today and I have decided, it's all your fault. If you had not decided that it was cold enough under the altitude you'd been swirling around in, happy in your little cloud, my day would have gone much better I think.

Because of you, I have lost faith in humanity and their ability to drive. I have also lost faith in humanity and their ability to read. Finally, I have lost faith in humanity and their ability to keep an office building warm.

There is less than an inch of snow on the ground. Actually, less than half an inch of snow. I saw two serious car accidents on my way to work this morning. I also heard about at least 3 others on the radio. Humanity, most of you have lived in Ohio all your lives, you should know by now how to drive in snow and rain, especially those of you in SUVs. You have four-wheel drive. Use it.

My lunch was in the freezer door. It said very clearly, Chicken Noodle Casserole. So the person who put their lunch into the main body of the freezer that said very clearly, Chicken Carbonara, still apparently mistook my lunch for theirs. Learn to read. Please. I know there's snow on the ground and therefore you had to bring your lunch to work instead of driving out to eat because, God forbid, you have to drive in the snow any more than you need to (down the street), but that is not an excuse for not being able to tell the difference between freezer door and main freezer body, or the difference between Noodle Casserole and Carbonara. Now I have medications to take and no food to take them with except my diet coke. Not fun.

Finally, this is not a large office building. There are only 60 people in this office. It is below thirty degrees Fahrenheit out there and you think that 60 degrees is an acceptable temperature to keep this (very airy) office, that does not have thick carpet, curtains, or any other things in it to keep the heat in, warm?

In conclusion... Snow, this is all your fault.

Sincerely yours,

Melissa

Dear World,

I would like to get off. No seriously. This year has not been the best and then you bitch-smack me like-whoa all in three days. This Christmas is going to be far from Merry and my job and life are not helping any more than you are.

So please, don't make me turn this planet around.

Sincerely yours,

Melissa

Dear Body,

I hate you.

Just saying.

Sincerely Yours,

Melissa